When I Become Dictator, I Will...

Tuesday, 12 September 2006 - 1 minute to read

  • straighten out all streets in Gothenburg in a nice north-south, east-west pattern.
  • declare Stockholm as the official "wrong side of the country".
  • move my residence to Sk√•ne.
  • invade Denmark.
  • reinstitute the union with Norway and take all their oil.
  • have free hunting of social democrats during May through September.
  • wipe out the income tax. You will be expected, however, to help build my gigantic, white castle on the seaside, for one or two months per year. Think of it as vacation.
  • have legions and legions of Storm Troopers!
  • drive a really nice car.
  • develop nuclear weapons and have big parades on the square in front of my castle, and then extort all neighboring countries for money.
  • build a McDonalds in every city.
  • build freeways. Lots of them.
  • build skyscrapers. You've got to appreciate a nice skyline.
  • fire everyone at SVT.
  • teach capitalism in school.
  • fund research into alternative fuel.
  • have a massive, enormous church organ installed in my sleeping quarters where I can sit and play like a madman at night.
  • play "Baby Elephant Walk" on radio a lot.
  • force people to sing all four verses of the national anthem, especially the part which is about God.
  • have my picture taken with Sandra Bullock.


  • imprison all people who make fun of my car.

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